Grief Models

Grief doesn’t follow a clean path. It doesn’t move in order, and it doesn’t make sense most of the time.

These models aren’t rules or steps to complete. They’re ways people have tried to understand why grief feels soconfusing and hard to hold.

If something resonates, take it. If it doesn’t, leave it. None of this determines whether you’re doing grief “right.”

Dual Process Model

Developed by Margaret Stroebe & Henk Schut

Grief moves between two places: facing the loss and trying to live your life.

Some moments pull you into the weight of what’s gone. Others pull you toward normal life—tasks, conversations, even small moments of okay.

Moving back and forth isn’t avoidance. It’s how people survive grief.

Developed by Dennis Klass, Phyllis Silverman & Steven Nickman

Healing doesn’t always mean letting go. Many people continue a relationship with the person who died.

Through memory, rituals, conversation, or values—the connection changes, but it doesn’t disappear.

Developed by J. William Worden

Grief isn’t a checklist—but it does involve movement.

Accepting the loss, feeling the pain, adjusting to life, and finding a way to stay connected while continuing forward.

These don’t happen in order. They come and go.

Developed by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

These are often misunderstood.

They are not a step-by-step path, and not everyone experiences all of them.

They can be useful as language—but harmful if treated like a timeline.

Developed by Robert Neimeyer

Loss can break how you understand the world.

This model focuses on how people slowly rebuild meaning—identity, purpose, belief, and direction.

Not by replacing what was lost—but by learning to live with what changed.

Based on work by Mary-Frances O’Connor

Grief is not just emotional—it’s physical and neurological.

It can affect memory, focus, sleep, and your ability to process information.

Understanding this helps explain why grief can feel disorienting and overwhelming.