Navigating Grief
Help for right now
When you can barely breathe:
- Drink water even if it feels pointless
- Eat something with protein - grief eats energy
- Move your body - stretch, step outside, shower
- Rest - grief is exhausting
- Connect - send a heart to a friend to stay connected, no words required
- Ground yourself - note 5 things you see, 4 you can touch, 3 you can hear, 2 you can smell, 1 you can taste
These won't fix grief, but they will help you through the next moment. Survival is the goal.
say it clearly
Words for when yours disappear:
Grief reshapes relationships and sometimes words are hard. These phrases can help you protect your energy and ask for what you need:
- Please talk about them
- I'm learning to carry it
- I know you're trying to help but I just need you to listen
- I can't do that right now. Maybe tomorrow.
- Can you help with dinner/errands/chores?
- Can you just come sit with me?
- That comment doesn't help. Please don't say that.
There are no magic spells - just use these as scaffolding for moments you can't find the words.
models of grief
Maps that don't fit - but might give you words:
Frameworks can help name what feels impossible to describe. These aren't road maps - there's no tidy pattern to grief - but other people's maps can offer language that can help you and others understand what you're facing. No model defines you or your grief - use what resonates and leave the rest.